Title: This Can Only End... 2/?
Author: wit_worry_what
Beta: None. Anyone wanna do the honors for the rest of this fic...whenever I write it?
Warning: AU, M/M, mention M/F, cursing
Rating: PG-13, will most likely get higher later, though.
Spoilers: N/A
Summary: Highschool!Modern!AU, Arthur Pendragon is fresh from a bad break-up and turns to his best friend in the world, Merlin, for support. (I am really bad at summaries. Just read it, please!)
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are owned by BBC, I am just here to play. Although, the plot line is mine.
A/N: I just wrote this and posted it. All mistakes are mine and I am sorry for them. This plot is inspired by something from my life to help me work through it. Please review nicely! Thanks to all of the people who have already reviewed.
A/N2: This whole fic is dedicated to pasty_pants who was kind enough to comment and give me the idea for this fic...kinda. Anyway, she's awesome! Thank you so much!

This Can Only End...
( Clicky this thingy... )

Title: This Can Only End... 1/?
Author: wit_worry_what
Beta: None. Anyone wanna do the honors for the rest of this fic...whenever I write it?
Warning: AU, M/M, mention M/F, cursing
Rating: PG-13, will most likely get higher later, though.
Spoilers: N/A
Summary: Highschool!Modern!AU, Arthur Pendragon is fresh from a bad break-up and turns to his best friend in the world, Merlin, for support. (I am really bad at summaries. Just read it, please!)
Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine. They are owned by BBC, I am just here to play. Although, the plot line is mine.
A/N: I just wrote this and posted it. All mistakes are mine and I am sorry for them. This plot is inspired by something from my life to help me work through it. Please review nicely!
A/N2: This whole fic is dedicated to pasty_pants who was kind enough to comment and give me the idea for this fic...kinda. Anyway, she's awesome! Thank you so much!

This Can Only End...

( Look! It's a cut! )

Applying to college is not particularly fun - believe me. But I am doing my essays and one of the questions from DePaul was to describe a personal challenge and who you turned to such and so forth. I really have not had any personal challenges before, admittedly I went through Katrina, but I don't want to USE that. Y'know?
Anyhow so I write this 100 word essay (give or take a hundred) about my personal sexuality crisis. I wasn't going to write about it at all, really, however my brother said the admission people eat that shit up. Plus I wanted it to be real. At least real for me - I didn't want to fake my college essay (one of them). So I sent the four DePaul ones to my mom and she just says, (literal quote from her e-mail to me) "I just don’t think that it is wise to tell the Sophie story as a part of your college entrance essay. I know that you are dying to tell this story, but it’s simply unwise to put it out there like this." The story wasn't about Sophie. It was about me. And what does she mean "out there like this", I know she is having some trouble dealing with the fact that I date girls (or as a friend calls me a functional lesbian), but really?! So she wrote me a whole entire other essay about Katrina. Which, yes, is very nice of her, but this is MY college experience. MY essay and, goddamnit, MY feelings. I just am so..... argh! Frustrated because she does this sort of thing all the time. She goes, "You are probably going too far there, Sara." Just...angst. I never used to be this angsty.

Really what it is, to me, is her telling me you should hide that part of your life from everyone because I don't like it. I don't think she is really doing that but it feels like it, and that really hurts. It's the classic "I love you. You're perfect. Now, change." (great musical by the way)

She has been doing all of these little things that add up to me being irrationally angry when she laughs at a joke on TV, which is ridiculous! I need help or maybe she does. Or maybe I just need to calm down.

It doesn't matter. I applied to DePaul with her Katrina essay....

One day I will be my own person....
sara

My brother is back in town. I was so excited because I hadn't seen him in a long time. He was the first person I told about my relationship with Sophie. He was supportive the way I thought family was supposed to be about these types of things. I knew I could never get that from my father because of how he feels about homosexuality (which seems so strange for me to include myself in that estranged word - it sounds so technical and perhaps has a negative tinge to it. I don't know). I *knew* my mother would be fine with it, but I didn't want her to have to keep a secret from my dad, so I didn't tell her. It got confusing and just plain tiresome.
Ever since my mother has found out I feel like she doesn't understand. In theory it would be ok for her daughter to be (gasp) gay (which I don't even know if I am so wtf), but in actuality she is uncomfortable with it. She said "I know a lot of gay people and none of them are happy." What am I supposed to take from that? Really now? Or what about the time she literally yelled at me: "Why don't you just go fuck some women?" Yeah, that one made me feel real good. Seriously, it made me feel like a fucking princess. Honestly, I know she didn't mean it; she was angry with my brother and I got caught in the crossfire, but that is still what she jumps to. This was 3 weeks after Sophie dumped me. I felt AWESOME! (I might be a little sarcastic just then).
She just isn't as supportive as I thought she would be. Now she wants me have a 'talk' with my father about my sexuality or some shit. And that is where my brother comes in. I got to talking about it with him and... fuck. He makes sense but it just left me feeling so wounded and angry. I mean I'm not even angry with dad; he's a bigot. At least he's upfront about it - I never had my hopes up, so not a big deal. But my mom.... Right now, crazily enough, I would rather have this extremely awkward conversation with my father that would likely end in tears and horrible tense silences, then talk to my mother about anything...ever. I just am so angry with her.
And I'm angry with Jeff (my brother), but I think that's because he brought all this stuff up. I mean I brought it up, but he is just so...infuriatingly my brother. Y'know? Probably not making any sense. At this point I couldn't give a fuck. I am so angry and hurt and ... tired. I am just tired.
Tonight I asked him, "Do you think it would just be easier if I started to date guys?" And in that second of silence before he told me I was an idiot, I thought about it.

I was right. It would be so much simpler. If only, right?

Godamn it. Fuck me.

please have a better day than me.
sara

It's a very good friend's (a.k.a. he is kinda stupid, but I love him anyway) birthday. His name is Shiloh the Albino. Although not strictly speaking an albino (he has blue eyes), the name makes me giggle, so it remains. He recently found my livejournal account...talk about awkward. I have keeping it a secret in shame (pudor - Latin for shame), but he is a creepster and dug this up! Then another one of my friends found, Katherine. She's pretty cool. At least better than Shiloh. For instance she's not albino. He wanted me to tell all of you it's his birthday.... done.
Anyway, I e-mailed Cardiff U, and I have gotten like 3 responses. I am so excited. I really want to go, but it is becoming startlingly clear that the chance of me being able to go is slim to none. Not because I can't get in; I am almost 100% positive I can get it. I consider myself a pretty good student but not awesome, yet I am secure in my writing ability (please don't judge me!) to get in. It's the money thing. I guess it really just depends on how the economy does. Sweet. Sigh.
I would like to talk about my angst, but I'm so depressed I can't stand it.
LOOOOOOVE,
w.w.w.

The Rules: Select your answers to the following questions and post it in your LJ.

When I saw Ianto for the first time I thought:
a) Oh look, they got a work experience kid in!
b) Are you old enough to be up this late?
c) Mmmmmm you can guard my entrance any day
d) WOW that's a very Welsh accent
e) Other:

When I found out about Lisa I was:
a) Betrayed
b) Angry
c) Understanding/sympathetic
d) Wondering if they would let Jack join them for a threesome
e) Other: Sad for Ianto and Lisa, but felt like hitting him upside the head and being like, "really? seriously?"

When he headbutted that cannibal I thought:
a) YES! Kick ass Ianto Jones!
b) Oh, that is so just gonna make him angry
c) Ow! (offering to kiss it better optional)
d) Don't damage your face!
e) Other

When I saw Jack with the REAL Captain Jack I thought:
a) Oh wow, such a heartbreaking and tender moment of joy between two warriors
b) Um dude, reality check? He is SO gonna get lynched by his men tonight. You may have just changed history and his disappearance is actually friendly fire...
c) You bastard!! What about Ianto?!
d) Ohgod I want a Captain Sandwich...
e) Other: definitely (b) but also it was nice to be able to see the REAL Capt Jack Harkness be himself for once

When I saw Ianto shoot Owen I thought:
a) Finally someone has!!
b) You git, leave Owen alone!
c) Ow. (offering to kiss it better optional)
d) Holy moly, Ianto looks hot with a gun...
e) Other

When Jack and Ianto finally kissed on screen I thought:
a) Hubba hubba!
b) I want to see the outtakes of THAT little scene as JB would so never have let them get it done in one take
c) Ewwww boys kissing!
d) But Jack and the real Captain Jack/The Doctor are meant to be!
e) Other

When Captain John had Ianto in the lift I thought:
a) Ohgod they would have the most amazing hate!sex....
b) Mmmm Angry Ianto
c) Oh come on, how easy are you to trap?!
d) If John is really that ruthless (and everyone dies young in TW) why didn't he just kill Ianto then?
e) Other

When Captain John offered an orgy I thought:
a) HELL YES!! Thats my kind of Team Torchwood
b) As long as Owen/Tosh/Gwen/Jack (delete as applicable) aren't involved...
c) But Ianto and Jack are a Couple!! They are for eachother only!
d) Ewww man sex orgy? Gross!!
e) Other


When Ianto was buying wedding dresses I thought:
a) Oh wow he would look good in a dress...
b) I wish I was wedding dress shopping, it looks like such fun!
c) Now that is a man with taste...
d) But what would he know about wedding dresses? Why not send Tosh instead, Gwen is sure to have forced her to look at shared wedding magazines reading with her?
e) Other: that Ianto should turn around on the salesman and punch him in the face.  I mean what gay man, if they were going to buy a wedding dress for themselves, would buy one that was made for a pregnant lady. That guy needed to get shot. Too strong?

When Gwen walked into the hot house in THAT scene I thought:
a) OMGWTFSQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!! - literally what happened
b) Come on cameraman, pan down, pan down....
c) Ewwwwwww boys kissing!!
d) Now that is not going to be good for the ferns
e) Other

When Ianto used a JCB to break Jack, Gwen and Rhys out of trouble I thought:
a) Ohgod, he looks like a village person!
b) BUT CONCRETE/JCBS/THE LAWS OF PHYSICS DON'T WORK THAT WAY?!?!
c) Mmmmm love the hat
d) I wish I could see the scene where Ianto went up to a builder and said "I need your clothes, your boots and your JCB" Arnie style
e) Other

When Ianto *spoilers if you have been living on Mars but you so know what I mean* had his "Serious Drama" moment I thought:
a) RTD YOU ******* *******
b) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
c) Wow what a fabulous piece of drama! Heartbreaking, brilliant and totally necessary and in keeping with the TW mythos
d) About time, they've been planning this since they first put him in a Red Shirt...
e) Other: Omg! Omg! Omg! They can't really... HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! *SOB* and then some more *SOB* - After that episode I had to leave the house and sit in the rain. I was pretty angsty.

For Series 4 I want...
a) Ianto back
b) Ianto left in peace
c) Ianto's hard work in getting Jack to love not going to waste as Jack finds a new piece of arse relationship
d) Ianto's sister to stay in the show as she was very cool
e) Other

And finally, if someone said to me Save Ianto Jones I would think...
a) Ianto Jones doesn't need saving. He kicks death in the teeth before stealing its scythe and using it to give himself a shave so clean that he won't even snag the silk stockings he's making Jack wear as punishment for being suck a frickin idiot in the first place.
b) But why didn't anyone shout out when the others left, eh, eh, EH??!!
c) Ahh you're talking about the Children In Need collection at http://www.justgiving.com/iantojones/
d) Ahhh you're talking about the "9 Hysterical women" at savecoffeeboy who are raising money for charity, sending letters and coffee to the BBC, signing petitions, making badges and leaflets and trying to get the BBC to bring back Ianto Jones in a polite but dedicated manner - whilst making a few new like minded friends along the way
e) Other: My birthday party theme. Yeah.


Also if anyone knows how to actually do a meme they could help me out. I kind of copied and pasted from a_silver_story , with different answers obviously! Thanks! More fics coming soon...maybe...hopefully!
w.w.w.

My first Merlin fanfiction! Very exciting!

Title: The Rusting of a Coin
Author: wit_worry_what
Beta: kaizoku - thank you so much! You were a huge help!
Summary: Merlin's secret has been revealed, and Arthur wants a demonstration of his loyalty.
Rating: NC-17 - what do you think?
Warning: Meant to be dub-con, but my beta said it come out more non-con. M/M sex. Dark.
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Spoilers: No spoilers!!! Set sometime close to season 1
Wordcount: 770 - more of a drabble than a full fic
Note: This is my first Merlin fic and my first try at smut, so please only constructive criticism! I was trying to be realistic to a certain extent. It took me two weeks to talk myself into posting it because this is something I have never, ever, EVER done before. Enjoy!
Note II: This was actually written after a fic search on merlin_finders by angeliss_fg. So this goes out to her...unless she is a him.

 

( You know you want to... )

I have swine flu. Seriously. Grr. Argh.

( Read more of the illness befalling my so-called life... )

Title: Just for Jack
Author: wit_worry_what 
Rating: PG-13 (Mentions of M/M sex, but nothing graphic and curse words)
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, mentions of Ianto/Lisa, Tosh
Word Count: 1,230
Beta: just_being_me08 
Summary: Jack wants something Ianto has for himself... Tosh helps.

A/N the last fic I wrote ended on such a depressing note, so I made this a happy fluffy piece. This was written for my good friend Dorion. He just went through a break-up with his girlfriend of six years (tear). Go, read, and be happy!

 

( Just for Jack )

Hey! I  know I said I would post a new fic and I will! I swear. I just have only 1000 pages to read before I can do that. I am thinking next Tuesday  at the latest.
Anyway school is coming up on Wednesday (19th) and I haven't done any of the work I am supposed to do for it which is really exciting. I have to read The Tin Drum by Gunter Grass and A Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. They aren't, strictly speaking, bad books - just long. I am about 200 pages in Tin Drum and I can honestly say that Gunter has a screw loose or maybe it is just that he is German. Hey I get the German thing. I am half German, but come on!
A really good friend of mine, Dorion, who is about 6 years older than me, actually dragged me to his house for a party. I usually drag my feet and say I'm too busy (which I actually was this time!) but I went. It was suprisingly fun.
I also have one request ( to anyone who is reading this) I have a 1000 word ish oneshot fic I finished and was looking for a beta. Anyone interested? Just to look it over and figure out if it is post worthy. Thanks guys!
w.w.w.
p.s. Did you hear <lj user = "tanarian"> is staying in the Torchwood fandom? I am thrilled!!!

I am doing this journalism program in Indiana. It sounded great and should be great. I just had my first day, and I feel like crying. Nothing happened, but I am a delicate flower so to speak.
Here's the thing: I am used to being in my own little room - away from people. Being forced to share a room with a girl, who is perfectly nice, and then have to hang out with 30 other ones everyday. All day. ALLLL day. Is overwhelming. It's only five scrawny days. And it really isn't a big deal, but I just really want my room.
I completely understand that I am just complaining and I should suck it up. However, I really really hate change (sorry Obama). I don't get girls who just want to giggle and have fun and talk all night and everything. I want to be alone with you guys. Sorry! That sounded really creepy. But you guys, this community, really makes me feel better. I just had a really crappy night.
I have decided that tomorrow will be better, though. It has to be. Please, dear God let it be!

Now off I go. I have journalism homework to complete. Also I finished another fic. A oneshot that is pretty fluffy. It should be out soon. Needs to be revised and betaed first!

Thanks and bye!


sara

The End of a Road and the Beginning of a Crossroads

Author: wit_worry_what
Rating: PG, I think
Word count: 1,407
Summary: Allison finally meets the man she has been looking for. He must make a choice; maybe he'll make a better one than she did... (I swear it's better than the summary)
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, OFC
Spoilers: End of Days
Song: Color Confused by Jaymay (but in the story it is written by someone else)
Disclamer: None of this is mine, except for Allison. Please don’t sue.
Beta: <lj user ="just_being_me08"> I can not thank you enough!!!
A/N: First fic on livejournal. I am a complete noob when it comes to this, so if anyone has advice please give it to me! Also I want to thank the following people for talking/welcoming me to livejournal and bolstering my confidence enough to post this fic. They are: jerbearthompson; strange_romance; just_being_me08; a_silver_story; and tantarian who I will sorely miss!

 

 

( Read more... )

So hi again...to all those people that spend their time reading my livejournal.  I'm sure no one actually does and that is fine to me. I suppose this is all about talking rather than actually getting listened to. Whoever does end up reading this know that it is just as strange for me to write it.

I had my first girlfriend. Really my first romantic anything. She dumped me a couple of days ago. She cited irrevocable differences. No, I'm joking. She did the whole I want us just to be friends thing. Not really sure what that means... Then she said I didn't like people. Now I must admit if you were to ask any of my friends they would say that I don't like people. I have said it many times myself. She said I was anti-social(I like to think of it as pro-self). Is that so bad? I like hanging out with people older than me. I don't like talking about what Lindsay did with her hair! I don't like to party. I like to be in my room and talk about the religious themes in Buffy. Or hey, even the hotness that is Gareth David Lloyd. I really liked that about myself. I thought I was unique or at least a little special.But She took that part of me that I truly held above all other parts and told me that was her problem with me. That hurt. Having to sit on that couch in her living room and hear that everything I had pronounced "cool" (so to speak) or "special" about myself was somehow, to her, wrong.
A couple of days later I was doing my usual rounds on livejournal (checking my favorite authors for updates) and one of them had friend locked her journal. It took me by suprise but made me do something that I have been aching to do for a long time: get a livejournal account.
I have a couple of stories half written but I will start them up again; actually finishing them! I feel motivated, kinda. I am known for my laziness however I want to do this before the summer ends. 

So keep your eyes out for some stories...people who don't exisist! 
w.w.w.
 

So I suppose this is my first entry at livejournal. An historic moment! I have been wandering through livejournal for the past year or so and just got up the courage to post. Yea! I am actually a fanfiction person and hope that doesn't scare people away. This is a just a great community to go into and write. I hope I can make some friends, and maybe someone can actually help figure out how to do some stuff on this site! I will eventually post some of my works. I have orginal and fanfic works. Well, it was nice to meet you.
w.w.w.